What Its Like to Work With A Death Doula

For the moments that feel too big to carry alone.

If you’ve found your way here, you might be navigating the tender terrain of end-of-life—whether for yourself, someone you love, or simply because your heart is tugging at you to plan ahead.

Maybe you're overwhelmed. Maybe you're wondering if you’re "doing it right." Maybe you're aching for someone who just gets it—someone who won’t flinch when the hard conversations come up.

This post is here for you. These are some of the quiet questions I often hear—or feel—when people are considering working with a death doula. If any of these have crossed your mind, you're not alone.

“I don’t even know what I need… is that okay?”

Yes. 100% yes.
You don’t have to have the words. You don’t need a plan. You just need a willingness to reach out. We’ll figure the rest out together—with gentleness, honesty, and a deep respect for your experience.

“Will you judge me for how I’m handling this?”

Never.
This space is sacred. It’s also messy, emotional, and completely human. There is no “right” way to do death, dying, or grief. My role isn’t to fix or correct—it’s to walk beside you, with compassion and care.

“How is this different from hospice?”

Hospice focuses on medical care. I’m here to offer everything that falls outside of that—emotional support, spiritual presence, practical guidance, legacy work, ritual, and holding space for the unknown.
I don’t replace hospice—I complement it, filling the quiet gaps that often go unspoken.

“Will you help my family too?”

Yes.
Death touches everyone in the room. Whether it’s a spouse who feels helpless, children who need gentle explanations, or friends who aren’t sure how to say goodbye, I’m here for all of you. This isn’t just support for one person—it’s care for the entire circle.

“Is this something I can afford?”

I believe everyone deserves compassionate support at the end of life. I offer sliding scale options and am always open to having a transparent, judgment-free conversation about cost. The last thing you need is more financial stress.

“What if I change my mind or feel overwhelmed?”

That’s part of the process.
Grief, caregiving, and death are full of unpredictability. Some days you’ll want support. Other days you’ll need space. My job isn’t to push or prod—it’s to be available, steady, and attuned to your pace.

“Will you help me find meaning in this?”

If that’s something you’re craving—yes.
For some, that means legacy projects or spiritual rituals. For others, it’s just the sacred act of being present, breathing together, or sharing a story. Meaning doesn’t have to be grand. Sometimes, it’s in the quietest moments.

Final Thoughts

Working with a death doula is not about doing things “the right way.” It’s about being held. Seen. Guided when needed, and witnessed when words fall short.

Whether you’re facing death, supporting someone who is, or just curious about what this work looks like—I’m here. With softness. With respect. With space for whatever you're carrying.

If you’re wondering what it would feel like to have someone walk this path with you, I’d be honored to talk.